Happy Father's Day
by SolarisSun
Summary: "It was a bright sunny day they told me about you. I remember it like yesterday. The news hit me in the gut, and I couldn't breathe. The weather should have been cold that day. Bad things weren't supposed to happen when the weather was good." A small one-shot on Big Boss' feelings towards the Les Enfants Terribles project for Father's Day.


_A/N: Hey guys! Here's a small one-shot I did for Father's Day. I always thought the MGS series could have gone deeper into how Big Boss felt over the Les Enfants Terribles project. I feel like he would have been a really good dad had he had the chance to actually raise the twins? But he was put in a position where he was never really a chance to be a part of their lives._

 _It also annoyed me in the series how they never detailed how he found out about LET. So my headcanon is that Major Zero tracks him down, phones him, and tries to guilt him into coming back to FOX/ The Patriots by using the kids as a bargaining chip._

 **Happy Father's Day**

" _I Never Really Wanted You"_

 _It was a bright sunny day they told me about you._

I remember it like yesterday. The news hit me in the gut, and I couldn't breathe. The weather should have been cold that day. Bad things weren't supposed to happen when the weather was good.

 _I was standing in my kitchen._

Everything put away in its proper place. I couldn't fix anything within myself, so I made order in everything around me. It's how I coped, with things you could never understand – but that's an insult to you. After all, you followed my path, and became what I became.

No, you were better.

You found away to keep living, while I dragged my rotting body from one place to the next.

 _There was a phone call_.

And I heard a voice I hoped I wouldn't ever have to hear again. The same pompous British accent and the casual, but authoritative tone. Telling me things I didn't want to believe were real. I almost hung up the phone then and there. I should have hung up. But, he told me someone wanted to speak to me. And before I could do anything.

It was you.

" _Hello? Are you my dad?"_

Your voice was small. I could hear the waver of uncertainty. But, I couldn't process anything because I couldn't believe you were mine. I couldn't give you the reassurance a kid like you needed.

" _I..uh, kid. What's your name?"_

I couldn't answer. I couldn't. You were mine, but you weren't. They made you. You were their insurance policy against me. They were going to raise you, and train you, and steal your childhood. To them, it didn't matter. You were just another tool.

Just like me.

" _David."_

And my heart began tearing itself to pieces because I knew what was coming. I knew the things they would do, and the lies they would put in your head about serving your country once you were old enough. And I couldn't stop it.

I couldn't.

If I came back, it wouldn't matter. There would be no happy family where I could raise you. They wouldn't let a multi-million dollar science experiment out of their hands.

And I'd become their pawn again.

And I couldn't go back to that.

" _That's… a good name."_

So, the walls started coming up, and I focused on my anger. It wasn't your fault that you were born, that you were created. But they used me once again. They took something from me again, without my knowledge and without my consent.

You were a reminder of how little control I had over my life.

You were a reminder of something that I wanted but could never have.

" _Um, thanks… But um, are you my dad? Uncle Major says you're my dad and I really, really want to meet you."_

I remember having to force back tears because I wanted to save you from the life they had planned for you. I wanted to save you from being tossed around from one home to the next, until you were primed and ready. I wanted to meet you. I wanted to be that person you could rely on.

But I couldn't. So, I told myself over and over again that I never really wanted you. I told myself until I started to believe it.

I told myself that you were a monster created in a test tube.

I forced myself to not think of you as human.

I forced myself to think that you weren't my son.

" _No kid, I'm not your dad."_


End file.
